


The Answer

by K1mHeechu1



Category: Figure Skating RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, Post-Break Up, Probably-I still haven't decided if it'll happen, Romance, break-up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-09-11 21:22:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16860526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K1mHeechu1/pseuds/K1mHeechu1
Summary: They just stare at each other. No words are said.Words have always been their biggest weakness.------------------Don’t leave, just let me stay by your side.I may look strong, I may even be laughing,But I'm so alone.(Ending Scene + Sequel + More fluffy scenes from their lives)





	1. Ending Scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They just stare at each other. No words are said.
> 
> Words have always been their biggest weakness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was stuck on the new chapter of IWMYWOoF, and decided to write something to try to unblock myself.
> 
> Somehow I ended up with this.

“Hi. It’s been a while”

 

Yuzuru turns around, surprised. Eyes widening. Javier is standing in front of him.

 

Looking as handsome as ever. Looking as smiley as ever. Making his heart race as always.

 

“Hi Javi.”

 

They just stare at each other. No words are said.

 

Words have always been their biggest weakness.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_“Yuzu, what do you plan to do after you retire?”_

 

_Hands caress Yuzuru’s naked back as he rests his head on Javier’s chest, skin soft and warm against his cheek._

 

_“I don’t know. I don’t plan retire. I just skate. Why Javi ask?”_

 

_“I can see retirement coming closer for me. Maybe not for a couple of years, but I still feel it deep in my bones.”_

 

_Yuzuru lifts his head, looking into Javier’s eyes._

 

_“We have years then. Now is okay to not think.”_

 

_Javier smiles softly._

 

_“You have the right to be happy. You have the right to be happier than you are now.”_

 

_“I happy now.” Yuzuru moves until he can kiss Javier’s lips. Javier smiles into the soft contact. “I not happy Javi leave tomorrow, but it for not long. I can wait for meet again.”_

 

_Javier caresses Yuzuru’s cheek._

 

_“Make sure you eat well when I’m not with you. Everything will pass and we’ll be together soon.”_

 

_Javier tugs Yuzuru’s body closer until his face is buried into his neck._

 

_Yuzuru can’t imagine being any happier than he is now._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Yuzuru stares at how Javier’s body moves on the ice. Powerful, familiar, as Yuzuru sits on the lounge, cup of tea warming his hands, reminiscing gone years.

 

He wonders if what he sees is actually Javier, or just a part of his memory.

 

He can’t distinguish one from the other anymore.

 

He feels like he might need to learn how to, for the future.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_“Are you sure this is what you want?”_

 

_Yuzuru nods._

 

_“I think about it. I want.”_

 

_“Then I will love you. I will.” Javier hugs him close to his body._

 

_‘I’m gonna love you’ He says._

 

_What's the use of those words if the heart behind it is not listening to the voice that says that?_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Yuzuru stares at Javier playing around with other skaters during gala practice.

 

He smiles, and plays too, but his heart isn’t into it. He’s just too good an actor for people to realise.

 

He smiles back at Javier when Javier smiles at him.

 

‘Please, see me. Please see the truth.’

 

Javier simply keeps playing around, and he joins because he’s a masochist.

 

‘How could you say you love me if you can’t see I’m dying inside?’

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_“I hope one day you’ll meet someone who will love you more than you.”_

 

_Yuzuru freezes in his place. He looks at Javier for the first time in weeks._

 

_He looks fine. He knows Javier is actually fine, and it’s not just a mask._

 

_Yuzuru knows he looks fine as well, but that’s because he’s great at pretending._

 

_He’s great at faking a smile and focusing on the ice._

 

_He’s great at pretending Javier was not as important for him as the ice itself._

 

_“I’m sorry I can’t be what you need.” He answers, grabbing his bag and leaving the locker room._

 

_He makes it five blocks before he starts crying._

 

_‘I’m sorry I’m not the woman you always planned on marrying and forming a family with.’  He wants to say._

 

_‘I’m sorry you decided I didn’t love you as much as you loved me without asking how I felt.’_

 

_He swallows the words as he walks the entire way home._

 

_He can’t stop the tears from falling, but he has stopped trying to a long time ago._

  
  
  


“Here.”

 

Yuzuru grabs the envelope, hiding the pain when he realises what it is.

 

A wedding invitation.

 

It’s gold and blue, with soft white accents.

 

They had always joked about how their colour scheme was going to be gold, blue and white for their wedding.

 

Funny how Javier kept the colours, but got rid of Yuzuru.

 

“I want you to be there. You’re one of the most important people in my life.”

 

Yuzuru nods, not looking up.

 

He’s sure Javier has forgotten how to read him, after all of this time, but he won’t risk it.

 

It’s been years since he started pretending he was fine with it all.

 

He’s not going to break character now when he’s made it this far.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Javier finds him sitting on a bench. He choose that spot in hope no one would find him, but he can see now it was in vain.

 

Of course the person who found him is Javier.

 

Because Yuzuru Hanyu’s luck run out by the time he won his second Olympic gold.

 

“Hey, what are you doing here? Got tired of the party?”

 

Yuzuru looks up and Javier stops breathing.

He has been crying.

 

“Javi, you know I believe anything you say.” Javier nods. “Please be honest with me.”

 

Yuzuru bites his lower lip, taking a deep breath.

 

“Will I ever receive love from someone who is like me?” Tears fall again. “Will anyone I love love me back, or will I have to spend my life alone, loving people from afar?”

 

Javier’s eyes pool with tears.

 

“Yuzu, what…” He gasps. “No, you didn’t… that’s why I…”

 

Yuzuru laughs, even though what he really wants is to cry even harder.

 

“You decided that by yourself. I’ve been in love with you since the second I met you. I never stopped loving you, even when it hurt so much I wanted to die.”

 

Javier’s head is a mess, Yuzuru can see him looking back, and remembering every single interaction, finding the clues of Yuzuru’s love lying there for everyone to see. Realising he’s been wrong all along.

 

Yuzuru stands up, and caresses Javier’s cheek.

 

“Make sure you eat well now I won’t be with you. Everything will pass, you’ll see. You deserve to be happy for both of us.”

 

He walks away from the garden, away from the reception.

 

Away from Javier.

 

One last time.

  
  


_And for once, he’s not the one that’s left heartbroken and crying alone._


	2. My Answer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I felt bad I fucked Yuzuvier up before, so here you go.
> 
> Happy reading!!

**_“Will I ever receive love from someone who is like me? Will anyone I love love me back, or will I have to spend my life alone, loving people from afar?”_ ** ****__  
****__  
**_“Yuzu, what… No, you didn’t… that’s why I…”_ ** ****__  
****__  
**_“You decided that by yourself. I’ve been in love with you since the second I met you. I never stopped loving you, even when it hurt so much I wanted to die.”_ ** ****__  
  


**_“Make sure you eat well now I won’t be with you. Everything will pass, you’ll see. You deserve to be happy for both of us.”_ **

  
  
  
  
  


_ Javier laughs, hitting Yuzuru with a pillow as the other squeals in surprise, launching his own pillow attack. Javier grabs him by the waist, tickling him, making him laugh loudly, and hits his arms, trying to break free. _

 

_ He stops, leaning over Yuzuru, who’s smiling. He’s so beautiful. _

 

_ The most beautiful thing Javier has ever seen. _

 

_ “Javi…why smile like idiot?”  _

 

_ “It’s because you’re too adorable.” Yuzuru blushes. _

 

_ “Silly Javi.” _

 

_ Javier melts. And gives him a kiss. _

 

_ Or two. Or twenty. _

 

_ Who’s counting anyway? All he can think about is how nice Yuzuru’s lips feel under his, how his thin fingers grasp his shirt.  _

 

_ All he can think about is how incredibly in love he is with Yuzuru Hanyu. _

  
  
  
  


Javier looks at Yuzuru from where he’s sitting beside the rink, removing his skates.

 

Yuzuru looks extremely frustrated, and his session just began.

 

Javier sees him fall as he attempts a 2A. He winces.

 

He wants to run to him, offer his hand to help him up. 

 

He wants to make sure he’s okay, to kiss the frown away from his face.

 

But he can’t. He lost that privilege years ago.

 

But it was his decision. Javier knew it was better to get a clean break rather than just waiting for Yuzuru to break his heart.

 

Javier can live with it. He know.

  
  


He thinks he can, at least.

  
  
  
  
  


_ “We need to stop.” _

 

_ Yuzuru drops the bottle he was holding. _

 

_ “What? Javi, why…” _

 

_ “We can’t keep pretending this is going to go anywhere.”  _

**_‘I need to be careful, I need to save myself, so I don’t get hurt.’_ **

_  
_ _ “We both know this is going nowhere, Yuzuru. We want different things, we have different dreams. You don’t see life without skating. I plan on having a family, getting married and settling down.” _

 

**_‘See through my lie. Please. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Like my breath will stop, my head filled with thoughts of you, with your face, the sound of your laughter. My dream is to have you. That’s an impossible dream.’_ **

 

_ “We have different priorities, and this has been fun. But now it’s time to grow up and face reality. We need to go back to being rinkmates and stop spending so much time together. It will only make things more difficult in the long run. We can go back to being friends, and still be okay.” _

 

**_‘I’ve wanted you since the start. I’ve waited for you, writing and erasing the words I wanted to say to make you mine. Thinking about you takes up all of my day. Please, realise there’s no way I can't stop loving you. Call me out on my lie.’_ **

  
  
  
  


She’s a nice woman.

 

A Spanish beauty, all green eyes and brown hair. Short, cute, and with the same dream as him.

 

To get married, settle down, have a family.

 

She understands that sometimes, he thinks of a past lover he lost. She just nods and pats his shoulder.

 

She doesn’t understand figure skating, hates the cold, and can’t skate to save her life.

 

But she’s willing to wait until he retires, and finishes up his business, and moves back to Spain.

 

Javier thinks that’s enough.

 

And if sometimes, when they lie in bed after having sex, he imagines a taller body, and dark brown eyes, and black hair, and a soft smile, he represses it.

 

He can’t have the love of his life, but she’s a good enough replacement.

  
  
  
  
  


_ They lie on the floor, just staring at each other. Effie has long since abandoned them, leaving to nap in front of the heater. _

 

_ “I like Javi so much since first time I see. I just talk even if English was awful.” _

 

_ Javier smiles, giving Yuzuru a quick peck on the lips. _

 

_ “You were adorable. I wanted to wrap you in bubble wrap and hide you from the world. Keep you safe and happy.” _

 

_ “You keep me safe and happy, Javi. When we like this, I feel like I win a hundred gold medals.” _

 

_ Javier leans back in, kissing Yuzuru more deeply, more tenderly. Yuzuru sighs against his lips, kissing back gently, lazily. _

 

_ “You are my gold medal, Yuzu.” _

  
  
  


Javier is still in shock.

 

He’s crying.

 

He fucked up. 

 

All the fear, all the hurt, everything was in his head.

 

He was the one that had made Yuzuru and himself unhappy the last few years. All because an idea that wasn’t right.

 

All because he had been afraid of how much he actually loved Yuzuru.  

 

“Javi.” He turns around to find Misha standing there. “Oh.” He takes in his tear stained face. “So he actually did it, huh?”

 

“Why didn’t I know? Why didn’t I see it before?” 

 

“You didn’t want to see it, Javi. Everyone knew. Everyone thought you knew.” Javier shakes his head, defeated. “So, what are you going to do?”

 

“What is there to do? I can’t fix this now.”

 

“But you can, Javi.” Javier looked at his friend. “It’s your rehearsal dinner. You aren’t married yet. You can still try to make things right.”

 

“But, the wedding, everyone will…”

 

“If you’re going to make both Yuzuru and yourself have a miserable future because you are going to get married to a person you don’t love just because you’re scared of calling off a wedding, Javier…” 

 

Javier snaps.

 

“No. I need him. Now I know he still loves me, I need to try. It might be crazy, and it might now work out, but I need to try to be with him.” Javier stands up. “Where is he? Misha, where is he?”

 

“Here.” Misha gives him a cardkey. “NH Collection Paseo del Prado. Room 1107. He bought tickets to Tokyo for tomorrow afternoon. Please, give him a reason to cancel those.”

 

Javier pockets the cardkey carefully, and hugs Misha.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Go, I just want you two idiots to be happy.”

  
  
  
  


She looks at him and Javier knows she knows.

 

He’s breathing heavy, having run back inside the palace they had rented for the occasion.

 

“I’m sorry.” He says, and sees her getting paler. “I can’t marry you. I don’t love you. I’m sorry I waited so long to say it.”

 

“Why?”

 

“He loves me. And there’s a chance he might take me back.”

 

Everyone around gasps. He had forgotten he’s surrounded by people. He doesn’t care.

 

“He? You’re calling off the wedding for a small chance a man will take you back? What if he says no?”

 

“Then at least I will have tried.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Yuzuru’s there. Sitting on his bed. Hugging a pillow. Tears are on his cheeks.

 

He looks so beautiful Javier wants to cry again.

 

“Misha, you didn’t need to…” Yuzuru stops talking and gasps the second he sees it’s Javier who’s standing in front of him. “Javi… why…”

 

“I love you. I’ve loved you all along.  I’ve never loved anyone or anything as much as I love you. Everytime  I see you, I forget how to breathe, I can’t stop thinking about you, I want you and have wanted you since the start.”

 

“Javi…” Yuzuru whispers, and starts crying.

 

“I tried to be strong all of these years, I tried to make it seem as if I didn’t have any worries, I tried to keep myself smiling, but no matter how much I tried, I’ve only wanted you. The answer has always been you.”

 

“We can’t… the wedding.”

 

“I called it off.” Yuzuru’s arms go limp for a second, and he gets up, walking towards Javier until he’s standing right in front of him. “I called it off because I’m so sure that I’ll love you forever. You told me you’ve loved me all along.  Then please, let me stay by your side. I don’t need to think about it, the only thing I need is you. You are my everything. Please forgive me, open your heart and I’ll stay right here by your side, please, please Yuzu.” Javier knows he’s not making sense, he knows he’s repeating himself. He doesn’t care. He just wants Yuzuru to know he’s being sincere.

 

“You want a family, want to have kids, I can’t give you that.”

 

“I don’t care. I want to marry you, I want to live with you, I want to love you. And if we want kids, we can adopt. Or get cats, or bunnies or even bees if you want. I don’t care as long as I can have you in my life.”

 

Yuzuru sobs harder and nods frantically, throwing himself into Javier’s arms, hugging him tightly.

 

Javier starts crying as well.

  
  
  
  
  
  


His body is covered in sweat, his breathing is still normalising. 

 

He feels like the happiest man in the world.

 

Javier looks down and finds a relaxed-looking Yuzuru smiling at him from where he’s lying, chest resting against his damp chest without a care, fingers interlocked with his own.

 

“You took too long.” Yuzuru whispers, cheeky smile on his lips.

 

“I’m glad you took me back.”

 

Yuzuru gets up, tugging Javier’s body until he’s lying flat on the bed, and rests all of his weight on his elbows, leaning over Javier, lips so close he can almost taste him.

 

“Silly Javi.” Yuzuru kisses him deeply, lovingly. It almost makes him cry. He thought for years he would never taste those kisses again. “Me too, my answer has always been you.” 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'll be more fluffy snippets of their life together, so stay tuned for that!


	3. Holding Onto You With The Same Force

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii!! 
> 
> I bring you this short, sweet thing, completely unbeta'ed bc I like taking risks today apparently lol.
> 
> I hope you guys like it!!
> 
> As always, you can find me on Twitter: @k1mheechu1
> 
> Happy reading! !

Yuzuru pouted, turning around in bed as the morning light peeked in through the barely open curtains and hit him straight in the face. He groaned in frustration as he realised he was far too awake to be able to go back to sleep. He extended his arm to the side, and his eyes snapped open when all his fingers found was the cold mattress. He sat up, looking around. There were no signs that there had ever been anyone other than himself in the room.

  
  
  


 

 

_ 'Of course it was a dream, Yuzuru. Did you really think Javier would just drop his perfect, normal future to be with you? He dumped you years ago, why did you still have the silly hope that he'd come running back to you, it was impossible from the start.' _

  
  
  
  


 

 

He closed his eyes burying his face in his hands as tears started falling down his cheeks, and then a loud sob escaped his parted lips. He tried to stop, no make no noise, but it was impossible, he realised as he couldn't stop the tears and his chest became tighter.

 

A door opened.

 

"Yuzu?" Hurried footstep. The mattress sinking under a person's weight. "Yuzu, what's wrong? Hey, mi vida, look at me. Please tell me what's wrong?"

 

Yuzuru felt his hands being pried away from his face, and he looked up. His sobs became even harder, chest heaving with exhaustion as he tried to breathe.

 

Javier was sitting right there, in front of him, hair damp and face full of concern.

 

"H-Habi!" He managed to choke out before starting to cry again. Javier instantly took his body in his arms, hugging him close and letting Yuzuru rest his head on the crook of his neck. "Habi... Habi..."

 

"Shhh, it's okay. It's okay. Breathe, mi vida. Yuzu, come on, breathe. You're going to trigger an asthma attack."

 

Yuzuru nodded, and tried to copy Javier's breathing, still gasping, tears still falling. He felt the fingers running through his hair and tried to melt even further into Javier's arms.

  
  
  
  
  


_ 'Breathe. Breathe.' _

  
  
  
  
  


Yuzuru managed to calm down after a few minutes. He lifted his hand, tangling his fingers on Javier's -well, his, now he actually saw it- shirt, nose against Javier's neck, breathing in the scent of Javier's skin, of hotel soap, and something so inherently Javier mixed with his own scent coming from the shirt.

 

"Are you okay now? Feel better?" Javier asked, voice calm, and still running his fingers through Yuzuru's hair.

 

Yuzuru hummed, and nodded. He felt a kiss being dropped on his head.

 

"Javi..." He untangled himself from Javier's arms and leaned back a little, hand still tightly grasping the fabric to keep himself anchored to Javier- he felt as if he was going to disappear the second he stopped touching him. "You're here."

 

"Of course I'm here, Yuzu..." Javier lifted his hand to cup Yuzuru's cheek, and he nuzzled into the touch, eyes closing instinctively. "Where else would I be?"

 

"You weren't here when I woke up. All I could see was a cold bed and an empty room. I was scared it was just a dream again."  Yuzuru could see the pain on Javier's face. "I'm just silly. I didn't even check for your clothes, or check the bathroom."

 

"You're not silly." Javier leaned forward, resting his forehead against Yuzuru's. "I made the biggest mistake ever when I left you. I tried to convince myself it would never work. I tried to force myself to understand it wasn't meant to be. I was wrong all along. And you suffered so much, because of me. I don't deserve this second chance." Yuzuru tried to protest, but Javier shushed him. "I don't, I really don't deserve it. But I'm going to take it. And I'm going to treasure you, and love you, and do whatever it takes to be with you until we're old and happy and still as in love as we are now." Yuzuru's eyes filled with tears again. "And I'm going to spend every day of my life making it up to you. I'm going to spend every moment trying to fix all the things I broke in the years we spent apart. And-"

 

Yuzuru cut him off with a kiss, both of their tears -when had Javier started crying?- falling down their face, lips desperately crashing together in a dance they both knew by heart, hands grabbing at clothes, and hair, and caressing skin over and over again. He broke the kiss with a sigh, leaving another sweet, short peck on his lips.

 

"I love you. And I forgive you. We need to stop thinking about it now, and focus on the future. Only the future now. The past is gone, but we have our whole lives ahead of us."

 

Javier nodded, kissing him again.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He looked around curiously, observing the way the things were arranged in the small living room.

 

They had ordered room service for breakfast, and had eating side by side, some part of themselves always touching the other, looking at each other, giggling like school girls and kissing each other every single chance they got, before Yuzuru cancelled his flight, and Javier helped him pack his things up, in order to check out at the right time. They had taken the metro from the hotel to Javier's apartment, carrying the bags and suitcases, Yuzuru excitedly asking about the things that surrounded him, trying to learn how things worked, and what things were, and over-all behaving like a curious 5 year old. Javier had loved every second of it.

 

The had arrived to Javier's home, where Javier had instantly taken his bags to his room as Yuzuru waited in the living room. He sat down on the sofa, still looking around, smiling when he saw a picture of himself, Brian, Tracy and Javier standing on the ice at TCC. He remembered that day as if it had been yesterday. It had been the week before Javier had broken up with him.

 

A noise startled him, and he looked to the side to see a big calico cat curiously making her way towards him.

 

"Effie?" Yuzuru asked, and instantly dropped to the floor, kneeling in front of her and offering two fingers for her to smell. She sniffed them carefully, pondered for a moment, and then rushed to rub herself all over his legs. Yuzuru felt tears welling up in his eyes as she meowed excitedly and rubbed her head against his hand, asking for pets. He cradled her in his arms like a baby, sitting back down on the sofa, and kissed her fluffy head, his left hand petting her all over as she purred like an engine. "It's been years, how can you still remember me, you cute furball?"

 

"She never forgot her favourite human." He looked up to see Javier staring at the two of them cuddling together, wide smile in his face. "She missed you so much. Spent the first couple of months looking for you around the apartment back when..." he stopped talking, and bit his lip.

 

"I missed her too. My first, favourite kitten." Javier sat next to Yuzuru, and lifted his hand to rub his cheek playfully.

 

"Do you feel like going out?" Yuzuru shook his head. "What do you want to do, then? I'm all yours today. Sooner or later, I'll have to go fix the mess I made, but that can wait till tomorrow." Yuzuru kissed him gently, nibbling at his lower lip before kissing his cheek, and scooting closer to lean against his body, Effie now resting on top of his chest, head against his shoulder like a small child.

 

"Choose something on Netflix so we can cuddle, kiss and ignore it."

 

"Sounds like the best idea you've ever had."


End file.
